


Shit Academy

by DarlingAna



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2014-07-18
Packaged: 2018-02-09 09:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1977933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarlingAna/pseuds/DarlingAna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh, what's this? A school for dumb people? What do you expect, kid some fuckn' rich kid school with gold chairs? No, no, all you got here is memes, murder, and morons. Enjoy it while you're still alive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shit Academy

**Author's Note:**

> Most of these characters are based on memes from Skype and EpicMafia lobbys.   
> Note that this is not all that serious in the least.

People may call me useless or annoying but i just see myself like any other. I just… I’m a bit of a fool. A little insane or out of focus. Lots of people are like that! That’s why, i hear, there is a school for people like this that can’t seem to focus in High School! It’s called Shit Academy. It sounds a bit crummy by the name but It seems pretty successful! I've read about it on 4CHAN and Tumblr! It has official accounts and all! It’s pretty funny, really.   
I got in surprisingly and I’m very happy! Oh, I should probably tell you all this now! My name is Tawagoto Yamada. I’m not that important and I’m a bit of a piece of shit. I love tripping people and making jokes. I’m a bit of a useless part of society and I use a lot of time on the internet making fun of people. I guess you can say I’m a bit of a Shit Head!  
I was just standing out in front of the big rusted school. It barely looked like it was in use. I need to meet with everyone else in the Gym but I’m not really sure If anyone is even here. It all just seems lifeless and still. I looked down at my notebook and walked in hoping for the best. If only I knew that this was the start of something very very shitty. Then, It all went black. I don’t remember why but when I awoke I was inside a classroom.  
There was a penis carved in the desk along with the words “Welcome to Hell.” Eh, what do you expect from school? I got up and yawned. It’s gotta be time for that meeting about now. I went into the halls to find the fuckign Gym. After a bit of running around tapping every door there was to tap I found myself inside a big and wide room. Good thing i was wearing my hoodie, the room was a bit on the chilly side. It gave me a bad feeling.  
There was about 15 other kids there waiting for me. They all seemed… pretty interesting to say the least. Hey, Isn't that girl over there pregnant? What the fuck did I even EXPECT?   
> Say hello to these interesting new students!

“Sorry I may be a bit late-”  
“No, you’re on time. You weren't that much of a pain in the ass.” The old pregnant lady said, lighting a cigar. “I don’t think you should be smoking in here.” After the young and possibly the most normal person here said that she groaned and threw it to the floor. “Yes, It is truly unholy to light a fire indoors unless you are praising Jesus amen.””Amen.” The two in the back seem to be hitting it off-  
Wait holy fuck are they a Nun and a Priest?   
> Start talking one on one!  
I talk to one of the normal ones. She was a bit cute, a face full of freckles and eyes full of hope. Her skin nice and tan like the button up she was wearing. She said she liked Adventure. They are named Michiko Abe. She couldn't go on adventures because her family was poor and they used the last of their money to get her into this school. That made me a bit sad.   
I then walk up to a very bright and happy girl who was writing down in a notebook. She carefully makes tiny lines with her pen. I lightly tap her shoulder and waved. She sighed and put down the doodle then very slowly flicked my nose. She called herself a “Pastel Hero.” What a fucking dork. Her name I learned later on was Sora Ikeda. I didn't really want to talk to her for very long and so I moved onto the next person who was painting something next to them.  
Once I looked at it real good I realized It was a blade. A very big anime-like red blade. Perhaps for a Cosplay? Yep, once we talked I realized they were big in the cosplay community. They were very friendly (Like every cosplayer should be) and said their name was Kyo Ito.   
The next… seemed like I have seen them somewhere before. But that was a bit strange for me because they were a Porn Star. It grossed me out even more when they said they go by “Miss Lovely.” We stopped talking right after I heard that.   
Then I walked up to a boy wearing a big and baggy shirt that said “I <3 Naps.” This dude couldn't be so bad right? He was a old kid that Dropped Out of High School a while back and went back into school because he wasn't getting any money just sitting around on his ass all day. He was named Akihiro Kato, and he seemed pretty cool to say the least.  
Next, I had to walk up to a little young Nun that seemed a bit stressed out being here around all of us. I tugged at her shirt and she slapped my hand and said “I needed Jesus.” What a motherfucker. She sighed said her name, Hikari Inoue, and didn’t say another word after that.   
A dumb fuck walked up to me this time and I didn't have to walk up to them. What a game changer! She was a bit on the slow side and that kinda made me annoyed with them. Her name was Rei Kimura. They were a bit of a Moron I have to say so myself…  
Then I went over to the nice man who the Nun was talking to after that mess was over. He looked like a Priest to me. And so he fucking was. Amazing. A Nun and a Priest as best friends, huh? Well fuck. He said his name was Masaki Sato.  
There was a shady figure in the corner in the Gym that peaked my interest. Turns out it was a student in a long black jacket. It was bulky on him and he said not to question it. He probably smuggled some Drugs into the school. He said his name was Arashi Kobayashi but I bet that was a lie. No drug dealer would hand out their real name just like that!  
Next I decided to walk up the pregnant lady that seemed a bit old to be in High School. Turns out she was a Teen Mom. If this was her first child I just didn't know. Her name was Satomi Hayashi and was a bit on the uptight side. I’d keep my distance.  
Then I walked up to the boy with the abnormal uniform. Turns out he was a student and a Janitor. He signed up to clean up the school but he also wanted an education so he signed up for both. He seemed a bit shy but he was a pretty boy with nice clear skin with a bit of dust on his cheeks… No homo but 10/10 would probably bang. So his name is Kurin Matsumoto? Pretty cute.  
There was a Student named Gakusha Mori. That’s it. That’s all I found out.   
Holy fuck is there two Porn Stars here? Nope, she was a Hooker. Are they even that different, honestly? What even is this school omg. She went by the names “Wild Lily.”  
Another dark corner what a fucking surprise. He was just as suspicious like the other boy but this time he seemed to be in some crazy Italian Mafia. I didn't bother trying to be friends with him. I worried he was gonna shank me. His name was Warui Nakamura.  
The worst I saved for last. A guy with a fedora and a Meme shirt on. He even tipped the fucking fedora when he said his name,“Otashi Saito” oh dear lord kill me now.   
> What now?  
Now, we wait. For who? The teachers, most likely. Just then a very big explosion happened on the stage, making a flow of confetti and a stuffy fly out and onto the floor in front of me. I picked up the strange toy and examined it. It seemed very… alive. It was a fluffy Brown and Purple bunny and seemed like a living thing but looked very cartoonist.   
Turns out it was a total ass hat that wanted us to murder each other.   
“So you’re the teacher huh? Then why is this school so fucking shitty?” “What do you expect, kid some fuckn' rich kid school with gold chairs? No, no, all you got here is memes, murder, and morons. Enjoy it while you're still alive.” And with that, he left. Well then not even gonna give us motives or cooler notebooks? Not even gonna take that kid’s crack? Alright then. Good day one everyone. I’m going the fuck to sleep.  
And so I did. It didn't take me long to find my dorm. Right between the Adventure girl and the Pastel Hero. Sweet. I hope I get laid, not murdered. Being murdered would fucking suck. I highly doubt anybody would murder day one here. What do we even have to murder with? Our bare hands? Well i guess someone can work with that If they really wanted to. All the doors and windows were blocked off pretty well.  
I guess this is your basic kill or be killed story line. Fuck, If I die first I’m gonna be so pissed I’ll haunt this whole school including that asshole bunny. Why would anyone even care about a fucking stuffed bunny? Eh, whatever. This is just a dream, most likely. It’ll all be over tomorrow. Good fucking bye world I am gone.


End file.
